A loved one’s death is a highly emotional time for everyone involved. Whether the person was ill and their death was expected, or if the person died suddenly and unexpectedly. Death is never a pleasant experience! It means that we have suffered a loss, and lives are forever changed and altered because of it.
As an executor; if you were close to the decedent, managing their ‘estate’ can make the probate process grueling, emotionally draining, and something that you just do not want to do! I can tell you from personal experience that…..the last thing I wanted to do was to literally retrace, and somehow ‘relive’ my loved one’s past by going through their personal effects. I experienced a range of emotions that I had never felt before………they were emotions that I did not like, and they took me to places ‘in my being’ that I really did not care to go.
In times like this; we must consider the deceased person’s wishes over our own, and try to focus on the fact that we are honoring them by taking care of these final details on their behalf. It is anything but easy…….yet through it all, it is my belief that somehow mercy, grace and faith covers us, and along with the immense love we have for our ‘loved one’…we’re able to push through.
As individuals; we can all go through the same situation, and have a completely different experience to it. The way we respond or react to the passing of a ‘loved one’ is personal, and there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution to make grieving easier or less painful.
There is also no planning on what to do when you are faced with grief. Ironically; you only know when you’re actually going through it how the loss of a loved one affects you. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. However; I do feel that it’s important to surround yourself with people that fully supports and understands you. People that are patient, empathetic, and willing to listen…. if; and when you feel like talking.
There may be days when you may just need a distraction from the reality of what has happened. You may also have days when you don’t want to see or speak to anyone at all, because you feel that they really don’t understand. Unfortunately; the truth of the matter is; unless they’ve experienced a loss of someone that meant the world to them, they really don’t understand your pain, and they may really not understand why you haven’t taken a shower in days; or why you simply can not ‘get it together!’ At the end of the day; however you grieve and whatever gets you through the day is perfectly alright.